CSI: Barbies
by bookworm-gurl
Summary: The title tells all in this fanfic. When mixing Barbie dolls that seem to be innocent and connected to young girls, with CSI a dark and sometimes very violent series, anything is possible. It's still a WIP since well, it has been almost ten years since I've even thought of continuing, but maybe...someday...there will be more to the Barbie murders!
1. Chapter 1 Mattel City

Author Note: I thought it would be funny to make a story were the cast of CSI were Barbie dolls. This idea came to me when I accidentally decapitated a Ken doll. I know I'm nuts but please review!

PS: Check out my site! for more of my stories and let me know what you think! Also sign the guestbook, and you can tell your friends! Thnx!

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**CSI Barbie's**

The graveyard shift of the Metal City CSI Headquarters was all sitting in the break room. Catherine was holding a magazine with a sticker cover. She tried to open it but I wouldn't budge since it was pink plastic.

"God darn it stupid magazine! Nick can you pass me that pink plastic spoon on the counter please" Catherine asked.

Nick got the spoon and threw it at Catherine. The spoon hit her right in the face.

"Your lucky I'm rubber or that would of left a mark" Catherine yelled at Nick.

"Sorry Cath I didn't mean to wack you in the face" Nick replied trying to hold back his laughter.

Catherine ignored his apology and tried to crack open the plastic magazine. She kept prying at it and then the head of the spoon flew and hit Grissom right in the rubber temple.

"Ouch! Who threw that?" Grissom asked in pain.

All rubber hands pointed at Catherine and she looked at him innocently (since she couldn't change her expression).

"It was an accident, and if you were here on time then you wouldn't be standing there" Catherine protested.

"Well I would have been here on time if the girl that was moving me didn't have to go to the bathroom. She left me laying down in the middle of the hallway making me look like a corpse then maybe I wouldn't have a migraine right now!"

"You have a rubber head you can't have a migraine, and I thought you were the genius!"

"What's our case tonight Griss?" Sara asked with a smile (even though she permanently smiles) trying to change the subject.

Grissom took out a piece of cardboard with squiggles all over it and his plastic reading glasses with no lenses in them.

"Um Grissom, I hate to state the obvious but that's a piece of cardboard and those glasses have no lenses in them." Warrick stated.

"Well it's all cardboard and plastic in this darn city! By the way our case is at Barbie Manor, we have a missing persons."

"Oh Goodie" Catherine said sarcastically.

"Hey guys does anyone know what day it is?" Nick asked.

"The calendar has been December for like ever since it's a god darn sticker and our watches are plastic so I don't even know what time it is!" Sara yelled.

"Okay, everyone just calm down and take a few deep breaths" Catherine said in her soothing motherly tone (even thought they couldn't breath)

"Who's Missing?"

"Ken" Grissom answered in a one-word statement

"Ken who?" Catherine asked.

"Cath, you know that we are the only ones in this city that have last names because Metal was not smart enough to give every Barbie doll they made a last name they were to lazy. Anyways it's Barbie's husband so we will have loads of fun on this one"

"Okay, lets go before the girl that moves us has to go to the bathroom again" Nick suggested.

The girl picked up all the little plastic criminalists and placed them into 2 pink convertibles since Metal didn't make Tahoe's and with each of her hands pushed the cars along her make belief strip of Barbie homes to Barbie Manor.

The Criminalists pulled up into the cardboard driveway that was made to look like stone in their pink convertibles. They slowly walked to the front of the house because they couldn't move very well with their field kits hand.

Barbie came out to the front foyer with her daughter Kelly in her arms. She sure didn't seem to upset over her husbands disappearance I mean her eyes weren't blotchy from crying and her makeup didn't make smear lines down her cheeks and she was smiling for goodness sakes…Oh yeah I forgot there dolls and not real humans.

"Mrs. Barbie, I'm Gil Grissom and this is my team of CSI's we are here on the matter of your missing husband Ken,"

"Hello Mr. Grissom. I came home from the park and I found this sticker ransom note on the coffee table and I called 911, but I thought that 911 gave you the police but you guys are crimin…criminals" Barbie stuttered to the group.

"Were Criminologists not criminals, we are the people that put the criminals away in jail" Catherine explained.

"Also 911 is the police, we are part of the police as well and if show us were the ransom note is then we could put the kidnapper away faster" Nick said.

"Alright anything to get my husband back"

Nick Warrick and Barbie headed into the living room were the note was while Catherine Sara and Grissom stayed right were they were because the little girls hands were full.

"Pure blonde we have to work with" Sara whispered to Catherine and Grissom.

"Yeah that's for sure" Catherine replied.

Grissom shot a serious look at both of them but since he was plastic he couldn't change is smile into a more serious gesture.

"Come on let's start processing the house" Grissom replied.

"Umm, Griss we have a missing persons. What is there to process?" Catherine asked.

"Right sorry my head or plastic brain is a little messed up from the spoon that got flung at me when I was walking into a room!"

"Excuses, excuses"

"Now children let's not fight," Sara said.

"Sara's right let's stop fighting and take a look at the ransom note" Catherine answered.

Once the little girl had arranged Nick, Warrick, and Barbie with Kelly in the living room she came back for Sara Catherine and Grissom and placed them around the coffee table as well. The ransom note read:

_My Dearest Barbie, _

_If you would like to see your precious husband and son Tommy again you must pay me 500,000 buttons by Sunday night or they will be murdered. Deliver them to the plastic doll club by midnight! _

_Sincerely, _

_The Pink Panther _

_Xoxoxo _

"So now we have two people missing, and were the hell is the plastic doll club," Grissom stated.

"I know were it is, it's in the older part of Metal city I used to work there as an exotic dancer" Catherine said.

"Alright since we can't remove the ransom note without ruining it we will have to take the whole coffee table back to the lab, be sure to take many photos and dust for prints before removing the evidence."

"Grissom, our camera's are pink and plastic they don't work." Warrick stated.

Just then the little girl took out her Barbie digital camera (sadly I have one of those) and took pictures of the sticker ransom note with it and went over to her computer and downloaded the pictures. She then printed them out and cut them out to make it smaller. She then placed them in the Lab for the Criminalists when they got back. She then took out some blush and used the stick thingy (I can't think of the name for it right now lol) and dusted the note for prints while the Barbie's stood there in awe of what was happening. She then got some clear tape and lifted the print and placed that in the lab as well. Now back to the Barbies.

Sara opened up her field kit and Catherine looked at the out side of the kit with a puzzled look (well not really but you know what I mean) on her face there was a red cross on it and it was white it was the first aid kit and not her field kit.

"Sara, you seemed to have grabbed the wrong case out of the convertible." Catherine pointed out and she pointed to the Red Cross on the side of the case.

"That would explain why there are medical tools in here and not my crime scene equipment" Sara admitted and tried to close the case again. The little girl got fed up with trying to get the doll to close the case that she just closed it herself.

"It doesn't matter anyway, we should head back to the lab and get processing, the guys can stay here and comfort little miss 'two brain cells'"

"Yeah, I can't stand this place anymore, it makes me feel so…god darn rubber head why can't you think of the word" Sara said trying to hit her head but the girl realized the arm doesn't bend that way.

"Jealous?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah! I mean how can a lady who does nothing for a living and her husband works in a button factory which pays like 1 cent an hour end up living in a manor, were as we get like 20 bucks an hour and I live in an apartment?" Sara said walking slowly back to her and Catherine's convertible.

"I don't know maybe she got money from her parents to live off of, or maybe she was mixed up in a lot of bad stuff and stole a whole bunch of money?"

"Ha! Why would anyone steal our money it's cardboard!" Sara stated and the girl placed her in the car along with Catherine in the passenger seat.

"Well some people are just stupid and when you have 2 brain cells it makes it worse"

"Do you think we should tell the guys were leaving?"

"Nah, they won't even miss us, for all we know Barbie could be putting on a naughty show for them right now"

The girl pushed the pink convertible backs to the cardboard box that is the lab. She pulled them in the make believe parking lot and took her dolls out. She placed them in the same layout room were the pictures and prints are located.

The girl put her dolls in the chairs and went into the part of the 'lab' that was DNA and went to go get everyone's favorite lab rat, Greg Sanders who is also a GI Joe.

"Hey girls what's your case this shift?" Greg said leaning against the cardboard doorframe since there are no doors in the lab.

"Missing persons case" Sara said not looking up from the floor since she can't move her head on her own.

"Oh, and who's missing?"

"Ken" Catherine stated as she looked over at the cardboard wall across from her since she like Sara couldn't move her head on her own.

"Ah, Barbie's husband, well if he ends up dead then maybe I'll have a chance at going out with her"

"I doubt that Greg, if you don't have a chance with Sara then you sure the hell don't have one with Barbie."

"Ouch that was mean Cath" Greg said trying to hold his heart (even though he doesn't really have one) in pain but since he can't change his expression there really was no point, plus his arm can't bend that way.

"Go back to your lab, we'll call you if we need you" Sara said as the girl finally moved her head to have Sara looking at the pictures on the table (that were 2 sizes to big for the small pink table)

The girl made Greg leave and placed him back in his small little lab which really was the pet Barbie thing (sadly I have one of those as well **tear**) and waited for someone to give him come pretend DNA on a cotton swab.

Back at Barbie manor Barbie did not give the guys a naughty dance (sorry to anyone that was hoping for that...but that would be just wrong!) and the guys were leaving. They spotted only one car in the stone drive way and didn't make much of a fuss about it since they knew they girls weren't too keen on Barbie. They all slowly walked over to their car and the girl placed them inside along with the table (I don't know how it worked but it did) in a plastic baggie from down stairs in her kitchen. (That's why it took the guys so long to leave, she had to go down stairs and get a bag). She slowly pushed them down her carpet that is now a road and back to the lab. She placed them in the room were Catherine and Sara were and then the girls phone rang.

10 Minutes Later...

The girl finally came back to her game and began playing again, thankfully these Barbie's couldn't complain about sitting in the same position for a long time. Or being kept in a box in the closet or some kids would be learning the words 'law suit' at a very young age…anyway back to the CSI's.

"So what did you guys find out at little miss pent house?" Sara stated as she saw and finally realized that the guys were back.

"Um, Sara that wasn't a pent house it was a mansion" Catherine corrected and flashed her a smile, this time meaning it.

Sara blushed from head to toe, and bowed her head in shame. Nick picked up, well tried to pick up the picture but the girl got fed up with trying she held the picture in front of his sticker eyes as he noticed something that was not right.

"Hey guys, do you see this foot that's sticking out from underneath the skirting around the couch?" He said as the girl turned the picture around for everyone to look at except Sara because her head was still looking at the floor.

"Yeah, it looks to be a mans foot, let's go back to the house, Warrick can you bring this print to Greg and put him to use, I know he usually does DNA but he should know how to use a computer, Sara your with me and Cath" Grissom said.

"What do I do?" Nick asked.

"Stay here and…Oh I don't know do something productive"

"Okay I'll go take a nap…with my eyes open"

"You know, you should be so proud of yourself for being apart of the 1 of the world population that has that ability" Sara said and laughed, "Nick?" she said, and realized that he had passed out, and started to snore, "Give me some warning the next time! Geese!"

The girl moved Warrick over the 'DNA Lab' with the print on the piece of scotch tape. She then lay Nick down on the plastic pink couch that had sticker pillows on it in the so-called 'break room'. Finally she placed the other CSI's in Catherine's convertible and pushed them down the 'road' back to Barbie's manor. She took them out and walked them up to the front door, made of paper. She knocked Grissoms hand on the door so hard that instead it went threw and tore the piece of paper.

"Well, there's another thing we've broken, you know ever since we've started this job all we've done is wreck things! I wish I was a real boy!" Warrick whined.

"Oh shut your pie hole, and stop quoting Pinocchio" Catherine hissed.

"I can't help it, it's just so easy relating a wooden boy to us plastic men"

"At least we don't have to listen to Greg talk about liquid latex," Sara said and they all looked at her quizzed, "What? Plastic latex, get it? He's made of the stuff!"

"Oh…" they all said and rolled their eyes, well tried to.

Finally the girl decided that someone should answer the door and used her free hand to hold Barbie. She poked her plastic head through the rip in her paper door, even though she could see them through the door since it was like transparent, and white tissue paper. It was a good think that hurricane's were not a big problem in Metel city because the whole town would be as flat as a pancake in less then 30 seconds, it being paper and cardboard and all.

"Oh no, not you guys again" Barbie said as she was in her bikini and all wet because she just got out of her pool that had an inch of water, in the deep end.

"Sorry to bother you again Miss, but we missed something on our first visit, would you mind if we came in and took care of it, it will help in the investigation." Catherine said, disgusted with the way Barbie had answered the door.

"I guess, if it will help"

"Thank you mame" Sara said and they headed inside the house once again.

They walked over to the plastic blue couch with sticker skirting and lifted it up with their rubber hands, although because the stickers were so fragile they ripped when Warrick reached for it causing a big gaping whole.

"You ruined my couch! Now I have to buy a new one! You know how hard it is to find a couch that isn't pink in this town!" Barbie shrieked.

"I know the feeling," Catherine mumbled, but covered it with a smile. "You can just replace the skirting you know, and we didn't mean to destroy the beautiful print of, what was it?" Catherine questioned.

"Teddy bears!"

'Those were teddy bear?' Catherine thought, but decided not to say it, "Yes teddy bears, I bet you can find another one, actually to make it easier I'll order one for you from E-bay"

"We don't have computers!"

"OKAY! You know what! I'm trying to be nice but you're just making it so…difficult!" Catherine screamed at the housewife. "Urgh! I'm out of here!"

"Catherine! Catherine get back here right now! If you walk out of this house your fired!" Grissom threatened and she stopped in mid stride, her left plastic leg as still up in midair. "Now get back here and finish your job!"

Catherine sighed, giving in only because she didn't want to resort to looking for other employment in this town, that usually meant going back to dancing. She spun around on her one plastic leg and stalked back over to the group. If she could she would of shown the expression of anger, but the plastic prevented her from such.

Grissom turned his attention back to what him and his team were about to discover under the couch that Warrick had no nicely destroyed. Both him and Warrick lifted up the plastic couch, it wasn't heavy, but it felt heavy in their plastic hands. It was really hard to grasp the thing because they couldn't move their fingers, actually all of their fingers were so nicely stuck together, which made it even worse, but now wasn't the time to be complaining about how they were manufactured. They had a missing persons, and possibly a homicide.

All the CSI's were stunned at what was revealed, the corpse of a little boy. He was all green and rubber was torn away from his face (the girl got creative and used markers and a needle to pry at the rubber). He was almost indistinguishable, considering for added touch she had her cat claw at the poor doll for 10 minuets. The girl got her camera and took multiple photographs of the boy and printed them out on her computer.

"Oh my goodness, that's-that's my son Tommy!" Barbie panicked and tried to run out of the room but tripped and fell. Catherine and Sara tried their best not to laugh.

"Mame you need to calm down," Grissom said coming to the woman's aid. "Now who would have access to your house?" he asked helping her up to her feet again.

"Well my whole family does, including our friends" she replied sniffling

"Do you like leave the door open to just anyone?" Sara asked, and wondered if the answer would be yes, considering it was just made of tissue paper, see through tissue paper.

"NO!" she shrieked right in Grissom's ear, he's luck he's made of plastic or he would have gone deaf right then. "Of course not! I would never let a stranger in my house"

"Barbie you have to calm down, take a few deep breaths," Catherine said looked at the corpse again, "We'll have our coroner take a look at the body and determine the cause of death" she finished.

"You're going to cut my baby boy up?" Barbie asked.

"Yes, it will help us in our investigation" Warrick replied.

"You can't! Won't that hurt him? I don't want him hurt! I don't want my boy in anymore pain that what he's in right now, I know he's not dead! He's, he's playing dead!" Barbie stammered, she didn't want to reality of her son's death to sink in.

"I'm sorry but he's not playing, he's dead, and he won't feel a thing" Gil tried to explain. He now understood what Sara and Catherine were talking about before.

"Okay, if you say so, you're the experts,"

"Thank-you," Gil said and he pulled out his pink plastic cell phone to call David so he could come get the body. "Barbie, your house is now a Crime Scene, you'll have to leave and allow us to do our job.

Barbie nodded her head and walked back outside to grab her daughter and then she left in her convertible. No one knew where she was going, they were just glad that she was gone.

"I'll call Nick and tell him to get his butt here" Sara said and pulled out her phone.

"Couldn't she smell her son rotting under the couch?" Catherine asked.

"Probably not, the only way you smell plastic is if it's burned, and I think that's one thing that didn't happen to this kid, but good try on trying to prove she more stupid." Warrick replied and smiled.

"That's not just stupid, it's also bad parenting,"

"Yea, but she's got a plastic noggin like the rest of us, no one programmed it to have all the attributes of real human beings, and we especially did not get the same treatment in the wardrobe department, I mean we're still living in the 80's man!"

The girl got busy setting up each of her CSI's in certain positions and having them each doing separate jobs. Nick had arrived about 3 minuets afterwards because the girl only had two hands and couldn't move everyone at once. After each part of the house was photographed and the corner had come to pick up the body of Tommy their was nothing left to do in the house.

"There was nothing in the bedroom or the bathroom upstairs," Sara replied to the group.

"That's the same all over this house, it's spick and span, she must have a maid because I cannot see her doing any housework" Catherine retorted.

"Well I guess were done at the crime scene then, lets go see if Doc. Robbins has anything on the body" Grissom said and everyone left the house.

It was 10 o'clock at night and time for the little girl to go to bed. She left all of her CSI's in their convertibles stranded in the middle of Mattel Road, and shut off her light. She got dressed into her Barbie pajamas, brushed her teeth, kissed her mom and dad goodnight and then went to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2 Next Morning

**Next Morning**

At 10am on a Sunday morning the girl resumes her playtime with her Barbie's to finish off the case of the missing Ken doll and the tragic death of Tommy. She continues driving the Barbie CSI's down Mattel road back to the lab. She places the guys in the break room and then brings Catherine and Sara over to the Morgue. The morgue it's self if made of play dough. The metal slab was made of grey play dough with the mutilated corpse of Tommy lying on top. Doc Robbins was the miniature toy of the Prospector from the Toy Story 2 movie. The girl received that in her McDonalds Happy Meal last year. She decided to use him because he looked old and would suit the role of a coroner.

The medical instruments she used to cut open the doll were from the bathroom. The scissors/ clamps were eyebrow pluckers, the scalpel was a sharp metal nail filer, the tweezers were nail clippers and the organs found in the dolls body were made of construction paper. However, since the girl was not the greatest artist in the world the boy's heart looked like a heart you would get on Valentines Day. Last but not least the X-rays of the boy's insides were on cardboard and had come from the Barbie Pet Care/ Vet set she got for Christmas. It was okay that she had mutilated her Tommy doll because she had gotten two of them for her birthday, so she had a backup for when she played Barbie's with her friends.

The girl situated Catherine and Sara around the slab with Tommy on top and Doc Robbins on the opposite side, now she was ready to start the dialogue.

"So what 's COD Doc?" Sara asked.

"Don't know" Doc Robbins replied and smiled.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Catherine questioned.

"Well since he doesn't bleed he should technically still be living, however since his skin was turned Green, which I don't know how the heck can be possible, he's dead"

"What about the scratches and the plastic that had been picked and pried at?"

"Well I can assume it's from a wild cat (AKA the girls house cat) but I can't tell if they are fatal or not"

"Okay, well, what about TOD?" Sara asked hoping to get a straight answer this time.

"Can't say" Doc stated.

"Okay, Doc you have to tell us something! You're the corner for Christ sakes!" Catherine yelled.

"Well, since he doesn't have a liver to do a liver temp and he can't bleed since he's just plastic I can't determine it." He replied and huffed. "You know, come to think of it why do I have the job of being a coroner when I have nothing to check or cannot make conclusions too. I quit!" he exclaimed and started to walk towards the door.

"Doc! You can't just quit!" Sara exclaimed.

"Yes I can, and I am now" he said and disappeared into the cardboard box filled with other stuffed animals and dolls the girl had in her closet.

Catherine and Sara stared at each other, smiling, but if they could they would have puzzled looks on their faces. I think they should write in a suggestion to Mattel and tell them to make their Barbie dolls more life like. The girl picked them up and placed them in the break room as they sat their in silence until the men came back from Greg's 'DNA Lab'. The two Barbie's just stared at one another having a staring contest that would never end since the girl was busy in the 'DNA Lab' with the other Barbie's and G.I. Joe.

Meanwhile…

Grissom, Nick and Warrick were all situated around Greg's 'DNA Lab', which was the Barbie Vet/Pet care kit. Technically their really was no purpose for the lab to exist because Tommy or any of the other Barbie's or G.I. Joes or any other doll that was used during this case that was made of plastic or fluff did not have DNA. The only reason that the girl put Greg in the story was because she had a crush on him, and she wanted to get back at her younger brother for cutting the arm off of one of his dolls by taking his G.I. Joe and using it in her Barbie scene.

The chemicals that she used to do tests, that were pointless, were from her Chemistry set. It came with little vials of red and blue colouring stuff and then one that was a mix of both. She pretended to use those to determine certain tests that were once again pointless.

"So Greg, what do you have for us?" Nick asked flashing his permanent smile again.

"Nothing," Greg stated and everyone went silent, as usual.

"Well, this was pointless" Warrick finally said.

"Yep, plastic people don't have DNA" Grissom said.

"Neither do ones with fluff, sorry guys"

"No problem,"

"Greg, why do you have a job if you never get any results?" Nick questioned.

"Because that girl thinks I'm cute and she wants me to be apart of this stupid thing! Urgh! It upsets me sometimes, I could be doing something more productive, like fighting some battle over in her brothers room with the rest of my men, but instead I'm stuck here in Barbie Land running DNA tests for people that don't even have DNA!" Greg screamed and then sighed. " I need a shrink"

"Aren't you small enough already?" Warrick said and everyone laughed, except Greg. If he could, he would give him the evil eye.

At that moment the little girls brother heard her outburst and came charging in her room demanding that she give his G.I. Joe back to him now or he will wreck her whole Mattel City set up. The two siblings got into a fight and were pulling and tugging on the dolls lifeless body that was when they heard a snap. The G. I. Joes head had fallen off and since that was the part her brother was holding on to he toppled backwards, loosing his balance and crashing down on the Morgue. The girl was about so scream when she remembered that she didn't need that building anymore since her corner had quit his job. The screamed in pain as the nail clippers poked his butt. He got up with play dough stuck to his pants and left crying. The girl threw him the rest of this G.I. Joe since it was useless to her now and shut her door. She composed herself before sitting down once again and playing with her Barbie's.

"Well, now that Greg is gone and we have nothing and the Morgue is smashed we should go and see if the girls are in the break room waiting for us with at least some news" Grissom replied and the girl situated the three men in the break room. Catherine and Sara were still staring at one another.

"So anything?" Nick asked.

"Doc Robbins quit," Sara replied, still staring at Catherine.

"What? Why?" Grissom questioned.

"He had no job, we got nothing from Tommy's corpse, and he came to the conclusion that he would never have anything to conclude to, so he quit," Catherine said and smiled. "Anything at DNA R Us?" she asked.

"Greg had nothing, but he sort of quit too," Warrick replied.

"What do you mean sort of?" Sara questioned.

"Well, some giant came and picked him up and then he became decapitated and was never seen again" Nick explained.

"Oh, well, since we both of have nothing, what do we do now?"

The five of them stared at one another in silence, the girl was trying to make it look like they were thinking but really she was the one doing all the hard work for the dolls themselves can't think for their brains are a melted plastic ball.

"I guess back to Barbie Manor?" Grissom finally said, his head staring at the floor.

"There has to be some thing else! Anything else!" Catherine pleaded.

"Sorry Cath, but there isn't, we need to talk to Barbie and see if we can get any information out of her"

"Fine!" Catherine huffed and slouched in her chair. Although since her body was plastic it just fell off the chair as everyone laughed. "Lets get this over and done with" she replied.

"Amen to that!" Sara said as the girl placed them all in their two convertibles.

She pushed them down Mattel Road and back up Barbie's faux interlocking brick driveway.

TBC.


	3. Chapter 3 Confession

**Author Note**: Sorry I took so long to update this story, I think I had a major brain freeze when it came to this and finally have just got a breakthrough idea and had to continue. I hope you guys didn't give up on this story I know it's been a long time, but I'm working on finishing all my incomplete stories this summer. I hope you enjoy xoxo!

**Chapter Three Confession**

The whole gang was outside Barbie's mansion when the girl's mother stepped into the little girl's room. She had never seen her daughter's imaginary village before and was quite impressed, but at the same time very worried. This reminded her too much of her favourite show, CSI. The mother figured that this was not healthy for an eight year old to be impersonating with Barbie dolls. That was when she saw the disfigured and destroyed Tommy doll.

"Honey, w-what are you doing in here?" the little girl's mother asked.

"Playing Barbie's." the girl replied with a smile.

"Why is Tommy all cut up…and green?"

"He's the dead body for the CSI's to investigate. I had to make him look like the bodies on the show so I got fluffy to scratch and bite it and then I coloured him green. Don't you like it?"

The mother didn't know what to say. Her mouth hung suspended in the airs. Her eyes were huge with shock. This was not her daughter. There was no way she gave birth to such a sadistic child. Wait, she didn't give birth, she adopted her 'under the table' from Berlin, Germany. She must have some of the Nazi blood running through her veins. The mother knew those blue eyes and blonde hair were just a front.

Instead of scolding her for beating up and making her brother cry the mother turned and left the room. She needed some professional help to solve this one. The little girl shrugged at her mother's abrupt leave and resumed playing Barbie CSI…

"Not you guys again," Barbie sighed, "Let me guess, you want to take my daughter Kelly as well?"

"Are you implying that you are an unfit mother?" Gil questioned.

"Unfit? Look at me, I'm not fat!"

"That's not what he meant," Sara said, "He means, are you an irresponsible mother? We would hate to call the CSA over here to take your daughter away."

"CSA? What the hell is that? Some sort of secret organization?"

"No, that's the CIA. The CSA is Child Services Agency; they take children from bad homes and unfit mothers in hopes to give them a better childhood." Catherine butted in, correcting Barbie the bimbo.

"Oh, well do you blame them? Those fat women should not have children in the first place." Barbie replied shaking her head.

Everyone, including Grissom, felt like smacking this woman upside the head. She was worse than ten second Tom, and he could only remember things for ten seconds! There was no way this woman was capable of anything more complicated than changing her daughter's diaper. That is, if she even knows how to do that.

"Can we come in?" Warrick piped up, "We need to ask you a few more questions." Warrick hoped that this was going to get them somewhere, and off the front stoop.

"Sure,"

Barbie stepped to the side as the little girl brought the dolls in the home two at a time. This took a world record time of five minuets. The little girl made a mental note that the next time she was going to be doing this she wasn't going to take all the criminalists at one time.

Catherine took a look around the room and saw a multitude of picture frames made of pink plastic with stickers inside of them. All of them were either of Barbie and Ken or of Barbie and Kelly, but none of Tommy. That puzzled Catherine. Usually a mother keeps pictures of their children all around the house, to show their friends how cute their son or daughter is, or to embarrass them when they are older and have their first girl or boyfriend over.

"Barbie I noticed that you have no pictures of Tommy." Catherine said breaking the eerie silence. "Is he your son?" she asked and saw the stare on Barbie's face. It was still the dumbfounded look of before, as if she didn't understand English, or had no idea what a 'son' was.

"Yes, of course he is my son, what do you think I do, I kidnap children and brainwash them and make them believe they are my children! God why won't anyone believe anything I say!" Barbie erupted throwing a tantrum like a three-year old.

All of the criminalist's just stared at the young mother, thinking that her plastic head was going to explode from all of this nonsense. Not the mention that would be a pretty spectacular sight, it still would not be in the best interest of the case.

"We were just asking a simple question, you don't need to go all kamikaze on us, now we know that something is up with this place, I mean someone had stuffed the body of your son underneath your pink plastic couch and the only prints that we were able to pull off of the couch were yours, so I think you can see where this is heading. Is there anyone else that could have access to your home to do such a horrible crime?" Grissom asked, trying to avoid the snickers from the rest of his team about Barbie's last outburst.

The little girl made Barbie's head swivel from side to side as if she was about to snap the poor girls head off, she was making scared noises, as if the jig was up when her brother stomped into her room and demanded an explanation for his decapitated GI Joe dolls. The little girl left the small Barbie world she had created and chased after her brother down the hall with what was left of Greg, using it as a weapon to beat the living day lights out of him. Just a reminder her brother is older, stronger, and more aggressive than she is, and she still managed to bruise his arm from swings with the plastic doll.

After about five minuets the little girl returned, slamming her bedroom door shut so that she did not need to hear the howls of her brother curled up in the corner crying from the pain and resumed playing with her dolls. She knew it would only be a matter of minutes until her mother came in here and began yelling at her for what she had done. To avoid another interruption this time by her mother, the little girl propped up her wooden desk chair against the door handle since her door did not have a lock on it; I think we now know what that is evident.

The little girl resumed her playing, picking up where she had left off as if nothing had happened in the past few moments to interrupt the story she was creating. I think this girl thinks of herself as an artist and when she gets interrupted, she becomes very angry and very violent. Or, there is something else and she needs to see a shrink.

"Alright, alright! You-you caught me fair and square, I might as well tell you the truth before more people get hurt," Barbie confessed, her plastic body squeaked as she sat down on her pink plastic couch.

The girl moved the rest of the criminalists into the living room, situating them around the couch making them look as much as she could that they were actually interested in what Barbie had to say. All of them detested this woman, and wished that she had died instead of her child, but that was not the case, instead they had to listen to every stupid word that came out of her mouth that made her more incriminating than innocent.

"My husband Ken and I, we go around the country and we find little children, mostly ones that have been orphaned or abandoned and take them under our wing so to speak. We brain wash them to think that they are, our children and make them into evil, evil children. For example our youngest Kelly is a drug dealer, Tommy was a porn star until I killed him and placed him under the couch, Skipper is a car boosting fanatic, she usually boosts all the cars for us that are used in the kidnapping of the children, and finally Stacey our oldest is an alcoholic and a mean drunk, she once threw a whole plastic couch at one of her ex-boyfriends. As you can see, we are probably the most dysfunctional family that is in this small town, and I am prepared to go to jail for what I have done."

Grissom, Catherine, Nick, Warrick and Sara all sat their, there mouths not opening and their eyes not blinking...oh wait! they can't do that anyways, but this is an acception because this time, their is an excuse! Anyways they were surprised by this confession, even from a woman who has more than a dozen screws loose. This was the last thing they expected to hear from her, or anyone.

T.B.C.


End file.
